Thanks to Mindset, Dannah, Cuddlykitten, Lily, Zelda, Kitty and some emails from others for all the comments and support, it means a lot to me. Thank you.
And yes, i haven't deleted the blog but made more changes on here, ie. rename of blog, link, user name, change the background pic, and have some pages hidden now, etc. i know there are some more need to be done but may be later, i'm just so tired.
i dun have anything else to say now except thanks to you all, and excuse me for taking some more days to rest.
i need some changes here, in fact i did one thing already. Yes, i removed him! It's the end of the story, and it comes to the ending of his little slave. i'm sorry to do it, but i can't stand it any more especially to what i found.
What is honesty? What is trustworthy?! What a fool was i to worry if anything worst happened to him or if he was too busy?! What a fool was i to blame myself if i did anything wrong?!
i'm thinking to delete this blog or rename everything? or any suggestions?
Thanks anyway for reading and for the past comments.
Honestly, i was really thinking to stop writing or at least take a long break, but i just can't ignore the comments & let them hold there without answering. So, thanks so much for all ur comments on my previous post, means a lot to me and i wish to answer them all in this post rather than just leave a few lines at the reply box.
Dannah, thanks for ur kind suggestion. i have lots of doubts and was feeling alone & helpless these days. i dunno anyone in the lifestyle to talk to until the new friend (i have mentioned in previous post) providing me her helping hand, thanks so much for her. May be i should try ur suggestion to write down those feelings and anything happened during the week, i'm not sure if it helps but at least here is a channel for me to get some advice.
Humble little girl, it's so nice of having ur support too and i really need it, thanks.
Naida, thanks so much, i hope i can feel a lil bit connected but it's hard. Another reason why i want to stop writing was i feel bad to keep on telling all my sad feelings & negative thoughts. i'm sorry to the ppl came across my blog and read all the latest posts of mine, but i just can't think of anything positive.
Baby girl, thanks for coming by my blog and ur nice comments. i'm so sorry for all these recent negative posts. i hope it just as you said things will get better.
Kitty, hi i loved ur stories with ur Daddy! i'm sorry to admit that i tend to ignore all these things and torture myself during my down time. However, i finally learned one thing, no one will take care of you except yourself. i will try to remember ur words about eat healthy and exercise. Thanks.
so... for the past few days, i was actually not feeling any better and not any worse. i tried to get myself busy again and am trying to put those things left behind for several months to back on track, ie job hunting. During day time, everything seems ok may be cos when i wake up it's already lunch time & just few hours left to finish the day. Therefore, the long nite time (cos i usually sleep very late) make me feel hard, what i did was mostly had drinks with friends. i know it is not a good choice but can't think of other things to pass such a long nite.
i'll be a bit more busy for the following few days, appointments such as job interviews, medical checkup, waxing, facial treatments, and some family & friends gatherings. Hope time pass faster and easier.
Another week of tough time passed and i'm so blessed to have a new friend's support & comfort words to help me go through it bit by bit (well U know who U r, thanks so much).
She is right that i should at least make a note here to say i'll be away for a while, then to take time to think clearly, plus i have other important issues in real life to handle. In fact, i'll still around the blogger community cos i read a lot almost everyday (and comment some too), just dun feel like to say anything at my own blog here temporarily.
btw, i know it may not appropriate but there are some words i want to put it down too before i leave. i read back again & again but i can't figure out any fights, false accusations, lies and/or dramas. Did i use wrong words or expressions? i really dunno, but i'd never had this intention. Even if i did, i wasn't given any chances to explain or correct.
Well, it doesn't matter anymore, and i'm off to take my time to rest. Thanks for reading.
They are great posts and are good to refer to, i think especially when engaged in a healthy D/s relationship. hmm... but what about when it is not, who cares?!
It's been almost a week not updating the blog, i'm sorry but i couldn't come up to anything to write and it becomes meaningless to write on the blog if it is not for Him.
i cannot tell what's wrong cos i'm not sure about it and not willing to believe what i guess. Also, it is so disrespectful and irresponsible to write some unconfirmed thing that mainly comes from my own feelings.
It just too hard to only think on the good and stay positive, can anyone teach me how to do that?! sigh...i dunno how to explain and i know i'm not good in presentation especially cos english is not my 1st language. May be, the few words can appropriately describe my feelings in these days are: frustrated, disconnected, and...(some more words in my mind but better not tell)
Not sure when will have my next post, may be some days later or never. i'm so sorry for that my readers.
